Trump-Kim cock fight, Ivanka is 'dumb as a brick' and much more hilarity from D.C.

"President Trumped holed up in his White House bedroom in February 2017," according to New York magazine, which printed excerpts from "Fire and Fury: Inside Trump's White House," the explosive new book by Michael Wolff, who portrays the billionaire as a petulant idiot. Trump is shown in this illustration by Jeffrey Smith holding a Mcdonald's cheeseburger and his cellphone.

WHAT THE F? KEN ZISA RESTORED

 AS POLICE CHIEF IN HACKENSACK

-- HACKENSACK, N.J.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

President Trump boasting that he has a "bigger, more powerful" nuclear button than North Korea's dictator seems like a distant memory, even though that tweet appeared only 5 days ago.

Comparisons of "button" to "penis" were drowned out by excerpts in New York magazine and then publication of "Fire and Fury," an explosive new book by Michael Wolff.

Wolff, based on conversations with Trump and others, provides an inside look at this chaotic presidency, and at potentially treasonous meetings with Russians in Trump Tower during the 2016 campaign.

The headlines in New York magazine:

"Donald Trump Didn't

 Want to Be President"

"The plan to lose, and the

administration's shocked first days"

On Election Night, when Trump's actual victory seemed confirmed, Don Jr. told a friend his father "looked as if he had seen a ghost," Wolff reported. "There was, in the space of little more than an hour, in Steve Bannon's not unamused observation," when a "befuddled," "disbelieving" and "horrified" Trump "became a man who believed that he deserved to be, and was wholly capable of being president of the United States" (illustration by Jeffrey Smith).

Trump berating Jared Kushner on Jan. 29, 2017 (illustration by Jeffrey Smith).

A Trump network?

As the 2016 presidential campaign came to an end, Wolff says, "Trump himself was sanguine.

"His ultimate goal, after all, had never been to win. 'I can be the most famous man in the world,' he had told his aide Sam Nunberg at the outset of the race.... "Now Trump ... was floating rumors about a Trump network."

Steve Bannon, who became chief executive of Trump's team in August, called it "the broke-dick campaign."

Bannon also called first daughter Ivanka "dumb as a brick."

"Not only did Trump disregard the potential conflicts of his own business deals and real estate holdings, he audaciously refused to release his tax returns," Wolff reports.

"Why should he? Once he lost, Trump would be both insanely famous and a martyr to Crooked Hillary. His daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared would be international celebrities."

Electoral College

Although Trump lost the popular vote, he was elected president in the antiquated Electoral College.

"The decisions that Trump and his top advisers made in the first few months -- from the slapdash transition to the disarray in the West Wing -- set the chaos and dysfunction that have persisted throughout his first year in office."

Read about Trump's executive order excluding Muslims from the United States, his scalp-reduction surgery and use of Just for Men, his longtime fear of being poisoned (one reason why he likes to eat at McDonald's, where they don't know he is coming and the food is premade), and much more:

'Fire and Fury' excerpts in New York magazine

Ken Zisa

Ken Zisa has been reinstated as Hackensack police chief in name only, and he plans to officially retire on Feb. 1 and collect his pension.

Zisa, part of a family based political dynasty that ruled the city for decades, was charged with official misconduct and insurance fraud in 2009, and fired from his post as police chief in 2010.

He had held the job since December 1995 after serving as acting chief for about 6 months.

A jury found him guilty in 2012, but the verdicts were overturned by appeals court judges, who cited prosecutorial misconduct and missteps by the trial judge.

But after Zisa sued to get his job back, city officials insisted no judge had ever ruled that Zisa didn't commit the crimes originally alleged in the grand jury indictment.

Today, in a long column in The Record, my local daily newspaper, Mike Kelly writes about the "last gasp of the 'Zisaville' political machine" (Opinion front).

You can search the column in vain for Kelly's opinion, but all he does here is pad his column with endless background information.

The strongest thing he says is this:

"... In Zisaville, the Zisas often tried to write their own rules."

See:

When the Zisas ruled Hackensack,

 greed, nepotism and partisan politics were king

Local news?

Today's Local section is dominated by town reorganization meetings, where new members of councils were sworn in (1L, 3L and 7L).

The Glen Rock Council swore in "its first woman of color," Arati Kreibich (3L).

But the Local front carries real breaking news:

"Ponds open for skating

thanks to the deep freeze"

Restaurants

Wednesday's Better Living cover promoted "7 MOST ANTICIPATED RESTAURANTS."

But Food Editor Esther Davidowitz neglects to say whether two of them, Mighty Quinn's Barbecue and Delaney Chicken, both in Paramus, will serve anything but mystery beef, pork or poultry raised on harmful antibiotics.