I've always hated flying United Airlines, but in New Orleans, not flying is the ordeal

Passengers on United Airlines' Flight 711 to Newark board the aircraft at Gate D9 of Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport.

Editor's note: This post desperately needed a new headline to replace the tortured syntax of the original, so here it is.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

KENNER, LA. -- United Airlines' Flight 711 to Newark appears cursed.

Every time we've taken it at the end of a vacation in New Orleans, we've experienced delays.

On Friday, we waited at Louis Armstrong International Airport's Gate D9 for more than 4 hours after the scheduled 3:10 p.m departure before we were allowed to board the flight.

First, we were told our departure had been rolled back to 5 p.m., then to a little after 8 p.m.

Our 737-700 aircraft and the crew also sat there all that time.

What storms?

We were told thunderstorms in northern New Jersey would prevent the plane from landing.

At Newark Liberty International Airport, the Air Brook driver who picked us up on Friday night after 11 said there had been scattered rain, but nothing he'd describe as a thunderstorm.

The phantom thunderstorms also prevented the departure of New Orleans flights to La Guardia Airport in New York and to Washington, D.C.

By arriving late at Newark airport, I also incurred a $15 night rate surcharge on our Air Brook ride home.

2017 vacation

After we attended the French Quarter Festival in New Orleans in 2017, our flight to Newark was delayed 2 hours.

The explanation: Too few air traffic controllers had reported to work.

I've always hated flying United. Now, I hate it for delays that have me not flying the airline.

On Friday, I was able to get earphones from one of the cabin attendants to watch a free movie, "Widows."

But the Economy Plus seat I paid extra for was so narrow, it was difficult to prevent my forearm from hitting the entertainment controls on the armrest, and blacking out the video or switching to another channel.

Instead of making do with a small bag of salty pretzels United Airlines serves on Flight 711, I stopped on the way to the airport for takeout from Banh Mi Boys in Metairie, La. I ordered a 10-inch Po Boy Sandwich stuffed with fried oysters and fried shrimp, dressed Vietnamese style with fresh cilantro, cucumbers, shredded carrots, sriracha sauce and other ingredients, above and below. 

Conveniently, Banh Mi Boys is part of a gas station, where I was able to fill up our rental car before returning it, instead of making a second stop. The sandwich shop is about 5 miles away from the airport.

Our first stop on the way to the airport was Manchu Food Store, a Vietnamese-owned business that lays claim to serving the best chicken wings in New Orleans, above and below. Tip: Order the regular fried wings to avoid what my wife said is excessive salt in the BBQ wings. The tasty side of fried rice contains small shrimp.

Did NOLA air-traffic controllers party too hard, delaying my flight home to N.J.?

Hurricanes, frozen Mango Daiquiris, cold beer and other alcoholic libations flowed freely during the French Quarter Festival, an annual four-day celebration of Louisiana's rich musical heritage.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

NEW ORLEANS -- Just when I thought I had beaten despicable United Airlines at its own game, air-traffic controllers threw a wrench into my plans.

My flight to the Crescent City's annual French Quarter Festival this month was most uncomfortable -- I was crammed into an economy seat with my knees up against the seat back in front of me.

On the 3-hour flight from Newark on April 5, stingy flight attendants served me and my wife small plastic cups of complimentary tomato juice, a handful of mints and a bag of salty snacks.

Music, movie and entertainment channels -- once free -- cost extra.

The center aisle was so narrow you couldn't avoid brushing up against other passengers as you squeezed past them to get to the cramped bathroom at the rear of the plane.

Cha Wa, a Mardi Gras Indian funk band, performing on the main stage in New Orleans' Riverfront Park on April 6.

Let the good times roll

But after four days of free music accompanied by Hurricanes and other alcoholic beverages, and great Gulf seafood washed down with wine or beer, I forgot all of that misery.

And checking in online for our flight home on April 10, I made sure to buy five inches of extra-legroom for me and my wife -- a total of 10 inches for more than $100.

Before the airport shuttle picked us up, I downed a half-dozen of those incomparable Gulf oysters on the half shell at the restaurant in our hotel, and we breezed through security with TSA Precheck.

Little did I know as we waited for our boarding call:

There weren't enough air-traffic controllers to handle all of the arriving and departing flights at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport, including ours.

2-hour delay

At 2:19 p.m., I received the first of three texts from United Airlines, informing me our 3:35 p.m. flight to Newark "is delayed due to air traffic control," and wouldn't be departing until 3:57 p.m.

Then, the delay grew -- the next text said our flight would depart at 5:01 p.m., and the third text put our departure at 5:45 p.m. -- a more than 2-hour delay.

The big question, of course, is whether those three air-traffic controllers who didn't report for duty on April 10 overdid it the day before on the last day of the French Quarter Festival?

As we waited for our delayed flight that day, I texted a friend who is the drummer for a New Orleans band, and wondered whether those air-traffic controllers called in sick after four days of boozing at the festival.

"It sure sounds possible," he replied. 

Worst airline in world

Flying United has been an ordeal for many years, and its customer service is an insult to paying passengers.

But now that United forcefully removed and injured a ticketed passenger to make room for airline employees on a flight out of Chicago, other customers might be tempted to compare their experiences to his:

"At least they didn't throw me off the airplane."


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